4 - 5 Year Olds

Kids at this age are still very physical, but they learn in a very focused and less frenetic way than when they were younger. These kids typically gain about 4 pounds (1.81 kilograms) and grow about 2 inches (5.08 centimeters) per year.

They're still developing and refining their gross motor skills, using their arms and legs to get around and to get what they want, as well as their fine motor skills, using their fingers, hands, and wrists for small movements, like picking up objects. By age 4, kids can usually hop and eventually move on to skipping.

Play becomes increasingly imaginative and is an important part of your child's growth and development during this time. So it's important to make sure your child has time for creative play - whether that means drawing pictures, running around in the backyard, or playing house. This is the stage where you have the opportunity to establish a foundation for healthy habits and a level of activity that will help your child grow well for life.

Although kids come in all shapes and sizes, a healthy child should continue to grow at a regular pace. To monitor development, the doctor will weigh and measure your child at regular check-ups, then plot the results on a standard growth chart to follow over time and compare with other children of the same age and gender.

Physical Milestones

• Child will be able to run, jump and climb.
• Child will be able to hold smaller crayons and utensils with more ease.
• Child will start to become a expert on tricycles.
• Child will be able to stand on his or her tippy-toes.
• Child will be able to dress himself or herself, and have the urge to do buttons and zippers.
• Children are generally fully potty trained by four years of age.

Learning Milestones

• Child will start drawing shapes and letters with encouragement.
• Child will start thinking of things outside of himself or herself. For instance, the child may learn that a particular object is meant for pool play, or that a certain kind of ball is meant to be kicked, thrown or hit.
• Child loves to listen to stories, and can even memorize short parts of a book.
• Child may draw family members on paper.
• Child will speak in sentences and know how to use plurals.

Emotional Milestones

• Child doesn’t get as frustrated as his or her vocabulary expands and he or she learns they can express thoughts, feelings and desires through speech.
• Child starts to separate from caregivers and becomes more independent.
• Child learns how to play with peers. Child learns the concept of taking turns, sharing and what is fair.
• Child bonds with pets.
• Child shows excitement over pending holidays.
• Child is coming to know the difference between right and wrong on a small scale.
• Child expresses love, or fear, of others openly.

When to call the Doctor

Contact your child’s pediatrician if your child is showing any of the following signs or conditions:

• Child is unable to draw shapes or scribble on paper.
• Child cannot speak in small sentences.
• Child is not potty trained by four years of age, or has regressed.
• Child is not able to run and jump.
• Child cannot climb stairs with alternating feet.

Specific Ways Children Can Cope With Anger

Children at this age have a harder time with boundaries and rules. They have a tough time with expressing anger. Here are a few tips on helping your child express his or her feelings better.

Children can learn to handle their anger in several ways. Give children several choices so they can pick those that work best for them. Remember that some angry episodes take longer than others to solve.

All of the influences your child is subjected to can have a powerful effect on how children relate to their world and solve problems. In today's world, learning to cope with anger and frustration in a positive way may be one of the most important tools your child ever learns.

DO SOMETHING PHYSICAL. Do something with your body such as stomp your feet (the "Mad Dance"), run around the house, or punch a pillow. Or, play with play dough, clay, or bread dough, which can be rolled out, pounded, twisted, and pulled apart. Any of these physical activities can help children focus their anger on something else and help them to calm down.

TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS. Some young children can talk to a parent, brother or sister, grandparent, a child care provider or a friend about what is making them angry. Talking helps some people work through their anger so they can accept what is making them angry, or solve the problem in a positive way. If children can't or won't talk to a person, they can be encouraged to talk to a family pet, a puppet, or an imaginary friend.

SING AN "UN-MAD" SONG. Help children make up words to a song or poem that expresses what they're feeling. Words from a favorite song can be substituted with this "un-mad" song. For example, the words "I'm so mad 'cause I can't play. Go away, go away, day!" can be sung to a familiar or made-up tune.

ASK OTHER PEOPLE HOW THEY COPE WITH THEIR FEELINGS OF ANGER. Help children collect ideas from other people on how to cope with anger. Help the child decide which ones are OK based on the information in this publication. For example, some people take a fast walk to drain off anger, while others take deep breaths when they get angry.

DRAIN THE ANGER FROM YOUR BODY. Let children relax with some water play activities or finger-painting. Or let the child scribble as hard as she can on a scrap of paper and throw the paper away as if throwing the anger away. Or encourage the child to dictate a story about what has made her angry to an adult and have the adult read it back. The child can then crumple up the paper and throw it away.

Ideas For Helping Your Little Ones Manage Anger Positively:

Drawing pictures to express feelings, warm bathes can help wash away bad feelings, snack time may help balance out irritable children and have them sit down and take some deep breaths. The more we as parents can be in control ourselves the less the anger will escalate.

Teach Children What Is Acceptable and What Is Not

Acceptable

• Hug a stuffed animal
• Have a good cry
• Draw a picture
• Talk things over
• Rip up old newspapers
• Walk away from the situation
• Play with clay or water
• Bounce a ball
• Take deep, slow breaths
• Ask for help
• Listen to music
• Go someplace quiet to cool down

Unacceptable

• Break something
• Scream at someone
• Bite someone
• Be mean to a pet
• Hurt yourself
• Throw a temper tantrum
• Hit somebody